For those of you wondering why

Ray reminded me a few months ago that I haven't really delved into the reasons for no longer teaching Hapkido and starting Jiu-Jitsu on this blog.  I wanted to avoid any perceived negativity to Hapkido and the people involved.  I've also been editing this post for a while trying to make sure it says what I want it to say.

I've been asked by several people why I quit teaching and I even got a couple of calls from a Hapkido organization trying to recruit me and bring me back in.  The truth is there isn't a single reason why I decided to stop teaching and start training in Jiu-Jitsu.  There are many.

It mostly started because of my lack of a student base.  For some reason after Christmas my class size shrank to 2 or less students per class.  Last year about this time I thought I was finally becoming a successful teacher.  I was maintaining classes of 6 or more students, I promoted a student to black belt and I had other students at various levels.

The 2nd factor was that I had to drive across town to get to class.  I've lived with it for 5 or 6 years but it's been getting more difficult to do as my kids get older.  Driving across town and having no students show up was a constant let down.

I had written a lengthy message to most of the martial artists that I respect and look up to.  Asking for advice and voicing some of my concerns.  I started off with the two points above and then the message turned into a rant about some of the other things I have problems with.  Namely things like getting rid of belt ranks, not wearing doboks or gis, do I need to make students call me sir in class, do I need to teaching Korean terminology.  Probably stuff that all traditional martial art's instructors think about from time to time.  The discussion went on for a little while and I got different responses in favor of and against some of the things I asked about.

A lot of these questions draw from my desire to be true to what I believe.  I don't want to teach something that I don't agree with or believe in.  I really want to be honest with how I present Hapkido but I also wanted to be respectful of my teacher and the way he taught.  I was in kind of a difficult place.  I knew I could probably advertise more and build up my student base again.  I could fix my website.  I could change the way I teach and make it more self defense oriented, get rid of the things I didn't agree with.  I thought I could make it work.  I thought that these changes would make me happy.

Eventually I was overwhelmed with a feeling of hopelessness.  I questioned if I was as skilled as I should be to teach Hapkido.  While I had made some improvements to my curriculum and I felt successful in teaching my students I also felt like there were things about Hapkido that I didn't understand and I had no idea how I would reach that understanding.  With Hapkido not being a popular martial art in this area and my instructor living in another state I didn't feel like I had a mentor or someone more knowledgeable than myself to turn to.

I had been visiting classes at Roseberry's on and off for several years.  I was always amazed at how I could be easily submitted by guys with just a couple of years of experience. This is something I wanted to be able to do.  The way that Conan could be relaxed and make little movements and I would fall all over myself into his trap.

I decided to take on a new journey of Jiu-Jitsu and so far I've gained quite a bit from this experience.  I know I've improved, people that rolled with me before I started see some major differences in my game, even though I still get submitted on a regular basis in the dojo.  Sure I wear a white belt and there have been quite a few blows to my ego.  It was difficult going from being the instructor and most knowledgeable person in my class to being at the bottom of the totem pole.  However, it helps drive me to get better.  I'm excited to get out on the mat for each and every class.  I can't wait to try a new concept or technique in open mat or when I make a break through and foil a move that I fell for so many times before.

There is a wealth of knowledge at our dojo, with many unique humble practitioners that have a drive to improve and the willingness to share and help other team members improve.  It's a great atmosphere for learning and growth, and I'll be busting my ass there for a long time to come.