Tuesday, March 26, 2013

March 25th (Chasing the High)

I had a back and forth internal argument Sunday and Monday.  I'm trying to stick to my guns and stay away from Jiu-Jitsu for a while.  I have an appointment with the orthopedist next Tuesday to figure out what's going on with my knees.  I feel pretty good right now although I can still feel the injury sometimes. 

Too many thoughts go through my head like, "what if I had taken a break right away after the first injury, would I be fine now?", "Will I take this time off and then just hurt it again?", "Will my knee ever be the same?" 

Until recently I have been ignoring Fuji's jabs about me having an addictive personality.  Not so long ago he, Greg, and I we were comparing Jiu-Jitsu to addiction to drugs and chasing a high (which is hearsay for me as I don't know what that is really like).  We all agreed that unlike drugs there isn't really a tolerance built up to where the high is more difficult to reach.  In fact it seems like the highs get better as you progress.  However, like drugs there is a withdrawal factor which I am experiencing now. 

I will still roll with my Hapkido group once or twice a week which is good.  I can control the pace of the class and take it pretty easy.  That subsides some of the feelings of emptiness and fulfillment (I'm kidding, kind of).


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